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You know you have the ability to choose which one you desire in your life.  Too many women believe that a booty call is the first step to getting the guy emotionally involved but they have nothing to do with one another.  Some of the best "pure sex" does not lead to love and some of the "least inventive" sex can lead to deep emotional attachment.  It's all a matter of the heart.

I answer questions daily from readers who want to know if they should continue having sex with their ex while trying to get a commitment out of him.  If a guy has a willing sex partner who requires nothing more from him than an occasional "date" or "hookup" isn't it logical that he will take you up on the offer as frequently as he desires?  If that is not what you are seeking and desiring then you will need to decide if you want to continue being his friend with benefits.  I know women enjoy the benefits as much as the men but if you're using sex as a way to get a commitment you may re-think that decision.

I didn't see my now fianc√©' for an entire year after our 4 year relationship cratered.  Why did we break up?  Well, I think his freedom was too much of a priority and I'm sure he will admit it freely.  I wasn't willing to be tossed aside only to get together occasionally for a sexual relationship.  Not for me, sorry.  So we didn't talk for an entire year!  No texts, no emails, no contact.  I did, however, use my "secret technique" on him during that time to ensure that he didn't forget about me.  Nothing wrong with some specific, directed thoughts that I knew he would receive.  He proposed 3 weeks after we saw each other again.

My point?  Don't settle for less than you deserve.  If you break up and he states clearly that he wants to continue with the "booty call" but nothing else see it for what it is and break it off if you want more.  There is nothing worse for your self-esteem than constant rejection and  hoping for commitment.  It is easier and healthier for you to be upfront with him and state what it is you need and desire.  Hear what he has to say to you about your needs and don't filter it and only hear what you want to hear.  For instance:  if he says "I don't want a relationship" don't make excuses for him and turn that into "he loves me too much and is afraid".  No!  Take it  as "I don't want a relationship....(maybe with you)".  Yes, it hurts!  But it's better to move on and find someone that does want a relationship with you.

I'm sure most women can relate to the "booty call" boyfriend and it leaves a very empty, vacant, low self-esteem feeling that can easily be recounted years later.  However, we've all experienced the empowerment of not accepting less than we desire in our life, too.  Is there anything better than taking back the control and moving on if that's what is necessary?  Men, or people in general, will only respect you as much as you respect and honor yourself.  Playing games isn't going to get you a strong, lasting relationship.  Be honest, sincere and decide your course of action with your eyes wide open.  "Booty Call" or significant other...you get to make that decision.