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how to manifest

Relationship Mistakes Women Make

Relationship Mistakes Women Make

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You know the saying "all is fair in love and war" but it seems to me, after 20 years of counseling women, that women can be their own worse enemy when it comes to relationships.  Do you see yourself in the following examples?

  • Your mate says "you're too needy" and rather than back off and prove that you are an independent woman you stalk him which further alienates him.
  • Your ex states that he "hates drama" so you throw a temper tantrum when he blocks you from social media and his phone after a nasty breakup.
  • He says "I want to date other women" and you make the excuse that he loves you too much and is afraid of commitment so he gets a free pass while you sit at home alone and miserable.
  • He tells you that he cares for you as a "friend with benefits" woman and, although you want an engagement ring, you agree to be that for him thinking you can change his mind in time.
  • He may be honest and upfront by stating that "he never wants to get married" but you are positive that sex will be so awesome he will change his mind so you stay in a relationship for years and "waste your pretty" on him rather than find a man who is available.
  • When he tells you all the things that are wrong with you (or the relationship) you try convincing him that you are "the perfect woman for him" and he could never find anyone who would love him more.

Women love to make over things so part of the problem is the challenge of getting someone to change.  How many of your friends (or even yourself) have said "with a different hairstyle, clothes, personality, money, sexual appeal, etc." he COULD BE the perfect mate.  He isn't at the moment but if he changes he has potential!

When a man states emphatically that the relationship is not going anywhere I beg you to listen to him.  In the off-chance that he does change his mind he will hunt you down and crawl on his hands and knees to propose to you.  But, don't hold your breath.  Why?  One big reason is that men do not respect women and hold them in high regard if they do not have self-esteem.

Let's be truthful, if you have self-esteem you will not allow a man to treat you disrespectfully and/or take up your precious time to be a play toy.  You are honest and upfront and have no hidden agenda.  If you desire a monogamous relationship you won't settle for less.  If you desire marriage you don't pretend to be a free spirit who never wants to be tied down.  In other words, you are the person you are and you are proud of it!  He will always know what your standards are and that you will never be a doormat for him, or anyone else.

I write books about relationships but I have counseled women for many years on relationships, law of attraction, self-esteem issues and empowerment.  If you want to learn more about any of these subjects I hope you will go to my website because between my books and meditations you will find yourself growing stronger and more powerful day-to-day.   Do it for yourself but remember that "men love women who love themselves".

 

Booty Call or Love?

Booty Call or Love?

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You know you have the ability to choose which one you desire in your life.  Too many women believe that a booty call is the first step to getting the guy emotionally involved but they have nothing to do with one another.  Some of the best "pure sex" does not lead to love and some of the "least inventive" sex can lead to deep emotional attachment.  It's all a matter of the heart.

I answer questions daily from readers who want to know if they should continue having sex with their ex while trying to get a commitment out of him.  If a guy has a willing sex partner who requires nothing more from him than an occasional "date" or "hookup" isn't it logical that he will take you up on the offer as frequently as he desires?  If that is not what you are seeking and desiring then you will need to decide if you want to continue being his friend with benefits.  I know women enjoy the benefits as much as the men but if you're using sex as a way to get a commitment you may re-think that decision.

I didn't see my now fiancé' for an entire year after our 4 year relationship cratered.  Why did we break up?  Well, I think his freedom was too much of a priority and I'm sure he will admit it freely.  I wasn't willing to be tossed aside only to get together occasionally for a sexual relationship.  Not for me, sorry.  So we didn't talk for an entire year!  No texts, no emails, no contact.  I did, however, use my "secret technique" on him during that time to ensure that he didn't forget about me.  Nothing wrong with some specific, directed thoughts that I knew he would receive.  He proposed 3 weeks after we saw each other again.

My point?  Don't settle for less than you deserve.  If you break up and he states clearly that he wants to continue with the "booty call" but nothing else see it for what it is and break it off if you want more.  There is nothing worse for your self-esteem than constant rejection and  hoping for commitment.  It is easier and healthier for you to be upfront with him and state what it is you need and desire.  Hear what he has to say to you about your needs and don't filter it and only hear what you want to hear.  For instance:  if he says "I don't want a relationship" don't make excuses for him and turn that into "he loves me too much and is afraid".  No!  Take it  as "I don't want a relationship....(maybe with you)".  Yes, it hurts!  But it's better to move on and find someone that does want a relationship with you.

I'm sure most women can relate to the "booty call" boyfriend and it leaves a very empty, vacant, low self-esteem feeling that can easily be recounted years later.  However, we've all experienced the empowerment of not accepting less than we desire in our life, too.  Is there anything better than taking back the control and moving on if that's what is necessary?  Men, or people in general, will only respect you as much as you respect and honor yourself.  Playing games isn't going to get you a strong, lasting relationship.  Be honest, sincere and decide your course of action with your eyes wide open.  "Booty Call" or significant other...you get to make that decision.

 

Meditation Facts

Meditation Facts

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 I get SO many emails every day from women (and some men) who want to know more about what frame of mind you need to be in to manifest.  Do you need to be in a trance?  In a deep meditation?  In a totally subconscious state where you aren't aware of what's going on around you?  What happens if different and random thoughts cross your mind?  All valid questions I would like to address because the thoughts themselves can cause undue stress.

ALL you need to do is be relaxed and receptive.  In my Pussy Whip book (which was the first book) I explained the importance of your subconscious state.  It is 35,000 more powerful in manifesting than your conscious (rational) mind.  So I tell you to think "sleep" three times to induce a deep relaxation.  It may even make you yawn because it will shift your body into a relaxed state even when you are actively thinking.  That's all you need to do.  It is not necessary to become adept at meditation (although it is beneficial for other reasons) or to be a Yogi who practices for hours on end.  ALL you need to do is just relax.  Relax and allow yourself to focus on what you want to manifest.

Can you listen to music?  Yes, but you won't be doing the technique for a long enough period of time to really get into a deep meditation.  I only use the technique for 5 minutes usually.  Sometimes 10 minutes but that is the maximum.  I take a few deep, relaxing breaths and think "sleep" three times.  I am ready to manifest.  Your body will become trained by you doing the same routine over and over again to respond immediately.  You will be surprised that all you have to do is think "manifest" or "relax" and your body will begin to automatically go into a shifted state of consciousness.

Don't worry about whether you are connected to your target or not.  Or whether you are in a subconscious state or not.  Or whether you have thoughts or not.  We all have thoughts that are uncontrollable.  It happens during the day when we are trying to focus and it happens during meditation when we are trying to manifest.  Just allow the thoughts to float away and go back to focusing.  Don't think too much about it!  Don't freak out and beat yourself up fearing nothing will manifest.  It will manifest if you use my "secret" technique.  Believe it.  Live it.  Breathe it.  Manifest it.  If something else crosses your mind just gently bring your thoughts back to what you were thinking and visualizing before that pesky conscious mind interrupted you.

It is so easy to "Pussy Whip" the guy or manifest the life of your dreams.  Don't let that conscious mind that doubts everything take away your vision.  It is like the devil on your shoulder constantly giving you negative and destructive advice.  Ignore it.  Push the negativity away and create the life of your dreams.  Ladies, it is really that simple.  :-)