the ATTRACTION FACTOR
first impression takes ONLY 30 seconds!
Did you know that within 30 seconds of meeting someone you will decide whether or not you will sleep with them? You don’t have the luxury of being boring if you want to truly impress someone! One of the reasons that people know within 30 seconds may be that our brains are only attracted to people we find are interesting and engaging. Everyone else seems to be ruled out rather effectively. So attraction (and a decision based on the attraction or lack of attraction) will happen within the first 30 seconds!
Anthropologist Helen Fisher, who studied hundreds of couples in love, found that men and women would know within 1 second whether someone is physically attractive to them or not. Our conscious brains make very accurate and long-lasting decisions and judgments almost instantaneously. That means that you have very little time to make that first, powerful and lasting impression. There was a study done on thirteen teachers where 30 second clips of the teachers were shown to participants in the study. The participants were then asked to rate each teacher's effectiveness basing their decision on just 30 seconds of video. After making shorter and shorter clips, down to six second video, the predictions were amazingly accurate. The participants accurately predicted the teachers that would be the most successful!
What does that mean to you? That your first impression means more than you ever imagined! One of my clients met a match.com potential mate at a coffee shop and he told her that he would only give her 15 minutes of his time before deciding whether there would be enough chemistry to see her again. She was instantly offended because she's a gorgeous woman, has a knockout body and a great personality. Truly a “catch”! Why would he be able to make a decision of whether or not he would see her again based on just 15 minutes? She almost left in a huff immediately. Instead she calmed down and allowed him 8 minutes of her time. She decided that she wouldn’t see him again after only a couple of minutes but she didn’t have the chutzpah to walk away sooner. Had she realized that in reality she really had only 30 seconds to impress this handsome, available bachelor she would have been stunned. But that’s all it takes to see if there is enough “attraction factor” to move to step #2 in a relationship.
Sometimes people act boring because they are timid, have low self-esteem or are afraid of being seen as “different”. If you’re afraid of just being you, quirks and all, you may need some self-love and self-esteem boosters. Try these meditations to convince your subconscious mind of your desirability BEFORE you meet the “man of your dreams”.