Tales of Stalking and How to Avoid Being a Creeper

ARE YOU CREEPING ON HIM?

Are you looking at social media? Trying to accidentally run into him? Driving by his home? There’s an easier way to attract him back!

Yes, women do it all the time.  We creep!  We create accounts online that are fake, or get our friends to do it, so we can creep on the ex without his knowledge.  When I was broken up I got on match.com just to creep on my ex.  Of course, I really didn't get to use my account because I had to stay hidden or pay extra so he couldn't see me looking at him.  Once I accidentally had my profile turned on and he saw it --- how humiliating.

I wonder why men don't spend their time stalking us?  Well, for the most part anyway.  I had an ex "John" who actually hired a private detective and tracked  me down while I was out of the state.  I had a PI (not a good-looking one like Magnum) show up at a remote location in the mountains with a fake clipboard in his hand asking silly questions about non-existent neighbors.  Poor John.  He was the ultimate "creeper".  He slept outside my house one night and I was walking to the street to get my garbage receptacle the next morning when I saw a car (a rental) parked across the street.  The windows were rolled down and I kept seeing a head pop up and down.  Curiosity got the best of me so I went over to the car and sure enough up popped John.  He was in the backseat and looked like he had a rough night trying to sleep in that tiny car.

I suppose the person who cares the most is usually the "creeper".  In John's case it was me who left so I get it.  One night I found him  hiding behind a bush that was the size of a small ficus tree.  It was 2AM and I saw someone crouching down with sunglasses and a baseball cap on.   When I saw him he began chasing me down the street like a 2 year old.  I didn't realize he could run that fast!

I  kept telling him to give up but he wouldn't do it!  He thought there was hope because I was nice to him but I was nice to him because I was over him.  Is that the curse of being nice to someone that you lead them into believing they have a chance?  Is your boyfriend being nice to you and leading you into believing that he will be back?  Only you know the answer but my advice to you is to step back and evaluate the situation before forcing yourself on him.  "Don't be a creeper".

It is horrible for the person being stalked because they feel trapped--- trapped and pissed.  Anger is not the emotion you want to evoke if you want your ex back.  I was so angry that I could have choked John but instead ended up calling the police for protection.  How do you know if you are the "creeper"?  Well, if you are planning ways to "run into" him, devising a plan to accidentally send him a text message, checking out his friend's FB account hoping you will see a pic of him (because he blocked you from his), going to his hangout with your girlfriends for support, thinking of reasons you need to get something you "left accidentally" at his place -- you're a creeper.

My advice is to move on and let him go -- for now!  You can send him messages the way I teach in my books and know that they will get to him faster and better than accidental text messages where you are pretending to be having such a fabulous time.  You know, the pic of you and your single girlfriends at HH trying to live it up and exude confidence.  When you move on you will actually get your power back and have fun without pretending!   When he truly and accidentally runs into the new, powerful and confident "you" that he fell in love with it will make him miss you and see you in an entirely different light.  Isn't that what you secretly long for?

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DATING TIPS FOR WOMEN

dating tips that work

Dating rules are like traffic laws - they're meant to keep things moving smoothly, but everyone breaks them anyway. They are like a game of Whac-A-Mole - just when you think you've got them all figured out, a new one pops up and throws you off your game.

First of all there are no hard and fast rules in love and romance. However, there are certain outcomes that are highly probable when considering the courtship and mating behavioral patterns of the average man. We all know that most men are perfectly okay with having sex ASAP and most women like to wait to be intimate even if they desire sex right away. While it is possible to have a long lasting relationship with a man after having sex too early (like on a first date) -- it is highly improbable. Why?

Because women are the gatekeepers of sexual pleasure, men subconsciously appraise a woman’s long-term value based on the effort required to “mate” with her. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment, which compels them to choose a long-term partner based on the quality of her fertility and her perceived fidelity. So having sex with a man too early will make him evaluate you as being a potentially high-risk partner because he’ll be led to believe that if it was easy for him to get you into bed it will probably be easy for the next guy as well.

Although guys may try to convince you that granting them uncommitted sex won’t change how they feel about you, don’t be misled. It will most definitely change the way they view you, interact with you and even consider a lifetime commitment to you. They’re basing such conclusions on how they feel about you at the moment, and usually in the heat of the moment. Once the sex happens, however, his passion cools and his lucidity returns, which means he’s now thinking WAY more clearly. So after having sex with you he might realize that he wasn’t that interested in you to begin with, or that there’s just something about you that makes you an incompatible long-term partner. As one of my readers told me her partner said after having sex too early: "I think YOU got too attached after sex and for me it was just pleasurable". OUCH!

Waiting for a commitment before having sex will immediately weed out at least ninety-percent of guys that might have wasted your time. In fact, putting a high price on your sexual pleasures (i.e. – waiting months) will not only help you to weed out a high percentage of Mr. Wrongs, but it also makes you ridiculously more attractive to high-quality, marriage-minded men – the ones who will respect your boundaries and cherish your dignity the most.

Psychologist and author, David M. Buss’ research on strategies of human mating confirms that whenever a man begins courting a woman he’s running two different mating strategies at once. One strategy is to secure short-term pleasure as quickly as possible so that he can propagate his genes while the other is to test a woman to see if she’s a good candidate for long-term love and companionship.

Because these two mating strategies are operating at the same time, having sex too early and without a commitment will compel a man to place you in the “short-term” category. Even if he REALLY likes you, his primal mating programming will subconsciously warn him that the ease of sexual conquest is a sign of weakness regarding your fidelity and you will be red-flagged.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules in love and romance. And whether he’s getting the sex or not, a man might still pull away and lose interest in you for a myriad of other reasons totally unrelated to sex. But the fact still remains: You’re more likely to keep a guy interested in a serious relationship with you if you appeal to the long-term mating strategy that’s running in his subconscious if you're looking for commitment and lasting love.